大小女人

2010-09-12T21:10:00.002+08:00

been sometime since i've blogged.
haha. so many things happened.
school, work, relationship...

tired har..
but there are also things to look forward to.
a trip near my bday - my birthday trip.
but got to bring forward due to koko's ROM..

3 weddings on my bday itself.. and i can only choose 2 to go.
haha. goes to show that its a very very good day!!

sometimes things just dont go as per expected.
things just refuse to move the way you intended.
details just gets more complicated and unravel by itself.

and thoughts are just too deep and complex to second guess, even by yourself.

sao paulo

2010-06-09T00:48:00.002+08:00

oh yeah. i finally remembered something that i've yet to blog about....
my sao paulo trip.. just for rememberance.

its the first time i go on a trip alone
and this first time, i spent more than 20 hours on the plane, if you count in the waiting time and the landing time before i leave the aircraft, i believe it could all amount to 24 hours...

the flight is overall pleasant.. Emirates flight to dubai transit for a couple of hours than on my way to sao paulo - 14 hours flight...

slept, watched tv, watched pple, look at the stewards (haha), listen to pple ard me (many portugese, and surprisingly / not surprisingly many china pple - they're everywhere i go- dubai, sao paulo, singapore... everywhere)

there's this old couple on my dubai-sao sector sitting beside me.
the old lady 60 plus, can tell that if she's younger, she would be very pretty. she still kept her figure very well.. her hubby who doesnt know english was with her... everytime the flight took off, landed, they held their hands. throughout the whole flight, few words were exchanged, they helped each other out of their seats, back to their seats, had their meals.. most of the time whilst sleeping, they held their hands....

there was this indian lady, who took the window seat from sao to dubai, everytime drinks are ordered, she request for a bottle of vodka. vodka orange. without fail for all meals.... ... haha. making her money worth. but given my stomach for alcohol, i think i'll puke at the height and occassional motion sickness if there's turbulance...

thanks to the onboard entertainment, i managed to keep myself entertained.
completed the following shows:
1) Sherlock holmes,
2) Blind Side
3) Alice in Wonderland
4) 101 dalmations
5) some rugby and politics show whcih i forgot the title. (i slept throughout the first view, and woke up to rewatch the whole show only to fall asleep. i only completed this show on the third round, missing hte last segment cause i got to get off the plane)
6) 2012
7) i think there's something else, forgot what le..
oh there's bejeweled too...

the conference... for another time.
bed time now.

weekend...

2010-06-09T00:28:00.002+08:00

weekends are getting more and more precious to me..

weekdays are getting more and more routine for me...

i suddenly miss that excitment, but at the same time i love this type of peacefulness....

does that show that i'm getting older???

hmmm.. interesting thought...

我要旅行！！！！

2010-03-20T13:32:00.002+08:00

最近没有什么感触，就只是好想出国旅行！！

才刚从泰国未来一两个月，就又在想着出国，也想设法弥补之前的一些遗憾一些不足。。。。
想出去透一透气，远离工作，远离尘嚣。不必一直烦恼担心

我想出国！！

2010-02-25T23:53:00.002+08:00

how do you spend 5 days at home, without parents, the whole house to yourself.

Day 1 - work. splendid dinner with him. back home, more work for my mom. miss them after chatting on the phone. first night facing the dark alone at home. can't get to sleep.

Day 2 - work. grandma house for dinner, home again attempt to sleep but can't. fever, and work again. the night went better after the medication. no one to turn to. i miss my dad. alot.

Day 3 - work again. work again. no lunch. home again. and then work. going to knock out soon. after the first 2 days, the third day at home alone is starting to be comforting.

Day 4 - work and then Mahjong. Finally life in the house.

Day 5 - sleep, tuition, sleep, grocery shopping, sleep
Day 6 - sleep, airport, and they're finally back.

I realise i'm not suitable for a career women, especially one that travels aroudn alone. I dont think i'll be able to take it. but i think i'm slowly getting used to it. Like it or not.

Stella, i admire you!!
How can you tahan?!??

小女人

2010-02-24T22:36:00.002+08:00

我发现我是个女人，而他则是个大男人，一个不解风情的大男人。

小女人大男人之间开如何沟通，如何去体谅，如何去了解?

浪漫小女人遇上了苯呆大女人，谁生谁死，还是够维持到老相守一生？？

2010-02-02T09:16:00.001+08:00

Everyone, I'm single again!!

I'm not going to post on FB, cause its goign to cause such a big wooha again.
but i think i can inform you guys here.

I think its time to let go.
Though i've not managed to totally let go yet.
But then i think its hard to maintain a lop-sided one.

Time to let go and embrace a new life.

Please feel free to date me out k.

Muacks.
Love you gals. All of you

a new year

2010-01-28T21:05:00.002+08:00

a new year spells new changes for those around me

someone's going to be a dad
someone's getting married
and so is someone else
someone is getting a house
and so is someone else

CONGRATULATIONS!!
你们要幸福哦。遇到对的人不容易，在对的时候遇到对的人更不容易。
要珍惜眼前人，抓出眼前的幸福，因为你们是值得的。
祝福

2009-12-07T23:55:00.002+08:00

23nov

2009-11-25T00:01:00.002+08:00

wow, time flies, 1 month ago, was just celebrating quarter of a century old.
another 1 month, it'll be xmas time alreayd.

time really flies.
its the 2nd month into my start of the program.
another 1 more month, i'll be having my exams already. fingers crossed on that. i'm still playing catching up on things.

today met up with my sec friends. didnt see for 2 years already.
today met up, it was just a random thought to get her again. and she's getting married!! congrats!! the story that she revealed is so..... i not sure if its encouragin or discouragin. but i'm glad i've got him.

this week is sort of like the crucial week, when i get to know the results of the interview. fingers crossed.

so many things lie on this week.
why?

so mnay things happend before this week.... sigh...
tired.

2009-10-27T23:19:00.001+08:00

What are some of the decision challenges you face in your organization?
a) How can you overcome those challenges?
b) How will that affect the behaviour of your colleagues?

these are the few questions that i'm supposed to work on for my OB discussion board for school... what to write, for someone who's not a decision maker?

i now also have another decision on hand which i got to think about, and to come to a decision, after the advice from a number of pple. but still deciding. not yet decided.

should i move forth. accept the challenge.
how should i fight for my rights? in an environment that is filled with all the angmohs. do i have the courage? do i have the techniques? would i fail?

"think about what you want in life, how you want to live it" i was told by my MD when i was in his room just this evening. He macro manages, DMD micro manage. DMD is fire, he's water. he turns to god for advice and support. (so is this preaching, no la, dont think so). anyway yeah, i got to know what i wanna do, how i wanna portray myself. all these exposure has Exposed many of my weaknesses. my lack of confidence.

just hope that my decision is the right one.
even if its not right, i'll make sure it works out!!!

2009-10-21T17:58:00.002+08:00

a couple of things happened recently.

1) school commenced. commencement of 1st module.
2) excitement in the work place.
3) my bday is just round the corner.
4) tired of being the insensitive brat, attitude bitch, gulible little girl.

school commenced le. just only. so its still manageable.
my brother saw the notes the first comment is " good luck"
gosh. is it that bad?

work place, suddenly some stiffling, some adjustment, some energy surges, some undercurrents. a little bit dangerous, yet full of anticipation

bday round the corner, arranging to meet up with a few groups of friends. hopefully can meet up with buddy too. been some time le since we last met.

yup. sick and tired of being termed as "attitude" " insensible" "naive"
time to grow up. root cause of the problem. i still dont wanan grow up

19th october

2009-10-17T01:21:00.002+08:00

right now, its counting down. haha.
2 meanings to it.
1, he's finally coming back.
2, commencement of school.

i was just downloading and getting ready the documents, files and files of text for reading, just for 1 module at the moment. what would happen if eventually i end up with 3 in end, when 1 starts, and is half way through i got to take up another module. how am i to cope. panic!!!!

from now to 1 year later. i would think by next year nearing my birthday, i should be more or less used to the style, the habit and the changed lifestyle.
i see a foreign future. a future and lifestyle that will be so different from mine.
excited, anxious and worried.

2nd update for the month

2009-10-13T23:15:00.002+08:00

a whole new week of singlehood.

actually come to think about it, its almost filled already.

school is startgin next week. just completed my online orientation.
alot of reading up to do. lets just hope that things will move on well.
serioulsy from the look of it. its gonna get more intensive. just the orientation, we're supposed to do discussions, self intro etc. 2 different assignments le. nervous and excited at the same time.

at least now i can put my mind down to settle that.
one thing at a time.

i promise myself.not to care and worry. work as a team.
complete the work to the best i can.
since there's challenge, step up to it.
got to be independent.

gambatte neh!!!

13th to 19th October

2009-10-08T21:48:00.001+08:00

I'll miss you during this period of time.

3rd Quarter

2009-10-07T17:04:00.003+08:00

it does seem taht my updates come in quarters.

suddenly an influx of information and updates from those close to heart.
"i'm balloting for unit at punggol"
"oh, i'm balloting for unit at punggol too"
"i might be looking at kallang area.."
"hmm... he's looking at resale flats too.."
"oh welcome to my new place...."

haha. everyone is in the midst of preparing for their next phase of life.
its contagious. very contagious... haha. nope. i'm not applying on my side.
cause for 1 simply reason - no cash. hee.

recently no more into salsa already. but then not really a pity.
i've got to know a very close group of friends. there are funny pple in there. one who loves spinning girls around and thought that he can dance very well; one whom is not very good but then has the passion (guided by me, haha); there are those with all the passion, all the energy, all the time, all the effort and all the talent to complete and enjoy in the dance.

i realise i'm someone who can either excel very well in it, or just suffer in it.
haha. too concious of ple, creates for the motivation to work harder, but then if pple are not appreciating it, the drop in morale back to ground is even worse. haha. so well. that sort of summarizes the whole salsa for me, and me for salsa already. i realised.

anyway no more salsa already. going to embark in another new "hobby" earnign money. going to get more tuition i hope. earn more save more. haha. save more travel more. woohoo. haha. like real.

anyway, sense of insecurity crept up on me.
either at work or within myself. and the feeling just cannot get off. my left eye has been twitching nonstop. not a very good sign.

2009-08-19T18:37:00.001+08:00

at a slight lost.

so many things to do.

so many new things and experience in my life.

within the past week, so many first times.

looking forward to the new me in the near future.

Penang / Where got Ghost / Stiff Neck

2009-08-14T14:15:00.002+08:00

what a title right?
just a brief summary of what happened over the past one week to date.

went to penang for a family trip over the long weekend. this year national day,we're not able to see fireworks, but we'er able to play with firecrackers. hee. always enjoyed that sensation. first time from someone amongst the group. for the rest, its the thrill once again. loads of food for this trip. to list down what we did - eat, sleep, black jack, walk, temple and praying, mahjong, drink. yup. thats what we did. family trips can never go wrong, especially when its coupled with the above few items.

went to watch the show Where got ghost? haha. yes, i went to watch. was told that its a comedy, it really is a comedy, but there are some spooky parts, and sound effects for scaring, and yes, i was hiding behind my hands for some parts of the show, but others, i was laughing. yup, the show did affect me in a way or another....

then guess what, today i woke up, with stiff neck, and slightly twisted shoulder. very very stiff and tight. the phone was lying right in between my shoulder blade. thats the thing about falling asleep while on the phone. having stiff neck for the whole day already. i wanna go massage. thats one thing which we all forgot to do on our trip to penang n hupchai!! a very very big miss!!

a bad day to begin

2009-07-28T14:15:00.002+08:00

was doing some stretching at home, then realised that i've been losign a little bit more then my comfort. think could be cause of some of the food content. too salty already. hopefully the yoga sessions can rectify that problem.

what a day to start the day. or rather there was some indication since last friday already. seems like i've confirmed what they think about me already. or rather, that i'm snatching other pple's job away. that i'm taking away other pple's responsibility. thats really hurting. very hurting. it killed my morning away already.

thats why my facebook nick: ain't my job, then i'm ain't gonna do it. i'm not going to snatch away other's job, ain't i. sacarstic manner. but then serioulsy cant these mature aunties in the office have better things to do then to start to bad mouth other pple. anyway as i was told, i have to learn to accept the thinkings and the situation of other pple. ok. point noted. i'll take note.

just that sometimes, its easier said than done.
maybe i was only just exposed to such environment. being a spoilt brat as i am, and i think i am known for. (yup childish is the word) i think i've yet to be able to hold myself to such standards. thats why there are role models.
seriously sometimes i also dont know who to turn to already. friends give advice that may not be what we can accept, but its for our good. in the same case, have to learn to accept it too. but sometimes it just may not be the right time and right mood to accept it. irony aint it.

think i can only learn things slowly and try and grow up. yeah. i want to grow up but then i'm still reluctant to. poor ter.

Disappointment

2009-07-20T12:45:00.001+08:00

Disappointment.

only word to describe when i stepped out fo the cinema last thursday, 16th July.
After much anticipation and waiting, i finally went to watch the show (last minute arrangement) at bishan J8, 9.45pm show. it lasted all the way past 12 midnight.

its a full 2.5hours show, but it felt much shorter, not that there is too much content or wat, just tat i felt that there could be more, much more to be done and featured in the movie. i dont find any focus in the show, just wowed by the animations, the graphics of the whole thing. it just seems too little of the too much informaiton that was to be portrayed. i've always had this feeling, it always will be when the book is reproduced into a movie, but the essence of it all has been escaped. the feeling remains yet the strongest for this show, the 6th book, the most intense book of the whole series, yet its only portrayed as such.

i was expecting the great fight.
i was expecting a greater portrayal of r/s building, the fatherly character of dumbledore. as we all know, this is the last path of dumbledore. in this book, he dies. his death comes so silently, not much of an impact. he doesnt deserve such a death. not dumbledore.

granted, the book has too many side stories to be told, that it is hard, very hard indeed to give it a proper scripture. there will definitely be hits and misses.. but stil..... sigh... disappointment.

another disappointment when i saw and personally experience the behaviour of fellow singaporeans.

to the guy sitting beside us:
please at least apologise, or at least to provide a tissue or sth, when your cup of bubble tea was POURED onto dar's pants. cause of it all, you're watching with your BOYFRIEND, too engrossed in the show/ or him, that you were squeeznig your briefcase right to the end, and thus toppling the cup which was right beside the bag. your bag, your drink. you know, we wouldnt have requested you to bring home to wash for us, at least to apologise, or take away the cup. nope. it was left there to the end of the show. .... ...

to the malay guy sitting behind us, and his gf/ wife/ children:
if you wanna sleep, stay home. you're snoring too loudly.
if your bf/ husband / dad wanna sleep, pls bring him back home. his snores are iritating all others, and at the supposedly highlight of the show. if you do not waste the ticket by leaving halfway, then at least make full use of it, nudge him and wake him up. the orchestra is not welcomed. you'll be saving yourself and many others the pleasure of at least to enjoy their show peacefully.

disappointment. the only word to describe the movie seesion.

1 month later

2009-07-07T17:33:00.001+08:00

almost a month since i last posted here.

its a happy month i should say.
things are finally ironed out.
there are chances for advancement at work, in the relationship, amongst friends.
think the only one that is deteriotign is my sleep, and my dance. haha.

now at work, experiencing alot of changes.
looking charge of many different things but then with the increase in job scope, does my pay increase? haha. dont think so. at least not yet. dont know whats going to happen next.

the office is starting to get rowdy again.
business should be picking up slowly already.
fingers crossed.

so at least next year this time, i can still get my bonuses.

where do i move on from here

2009-06-18T17:09:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden, i'm supposed to be given a choice.
a choice that would affect my career prospect.
a choice that i to date dont know where and how to move on.

should i take the chance, the chance for the company, the faith in the company that it will definitely groom me to what i have just been told?

should i forgo this chance cause there should be more choices out there.
Should i look on and move on?

all these to be decided before the end of the week, amidst all others decisions.

scared of wat the future beholds, and yet excited about it all.

i think my answer is more or less there.
i've escaped from many challenges many times.
took the easy way out cause i do not have the confidence. now do i have it? can i give it a try? to develop myself further?

fingers crossed. a few more person to talk to and i'll know how and where to move on.

realisation

2009-05-26T12:29:00.003+08:00

all of a sudden, realisation comes, the truth dawns on me.
and i've faced with the fact that i'm broke.
or technically speaking, i'll be broke.
and measures got to be taken to prevent further brokeness.

1) income -
my general income is expected to decrease as there is most probably going to be another pay cut. i might wanna go on unpaid leave. unforced but highly recommended.

my tuition income has dropped to 1/10 as my tuition kids have all either graduated or decreased on their freqency. that hurts alot. the decrease in my moon-lighting.

maybe its time to relook into other businesses. side businesses.
pple, anyone has got tuition lobangs, please recommend.
pple, if anyone interested in outside incomes, please keep me in the loop too.

2) expenses -
as usual, the normal insurance, school fees which would eat up a portion

i intend to study on short courses, so another lump sum expected gone. that one would cost about 1k plus already over half a month. argh.. hurts

i've just signed up for rueda class again. starting next tuesday. another 120bucks gone. think i got to rethink abt dancing already cause of the money factor.

my daily expenditure leh.
more birthday comign up. i really dread july and agust leh. why u all all born on these 2 months. why?? argh...
pain pain...

i need financial advice. who can help. wheres the money that should be falling from the sky..
pain pain.

PK

2009-04-03T16:01:00.000+08:00

词姚若龙曲曹格

你有坚持的事情
我也有我的个性
这次不让你 call我兄弟飙歌去
跟两个人有关系
你却一个人决定
情绪谷底约好姊妹喝香槟
最恨别人对我不相信
我向往的亲密是一起做决定
干涉太多是囚禁
沟通太少是疏离
爱有千百万种定义
三天不联络和解要被动
不谈对错假装没冷战过
想在爱里当主key 要抢到麦克风
三天泪狂流残局你来收
虽然心疼不能摊手低头
心思拉扯中 PK寂寞
情敌偷袭的时候温柔不能给太多
天下太平任性自我但不能太超过
爱都需要小快乐爱也需要小对策
不能完全被掌握越PK越拿手
在你听话的时候糖果不能给太多
不乖时候表演分手但不能太超过
爱都需要小亲热爱也需要小风波
又气又享受 PK缠斗

learning

2009-03-28T21:42:00.002+08:00

these few days has been a learning process...
thanks to ger who has seen me through one of those days.
she once mentioned, when 2 pple get together and feelings starts building, we would want to meet each other everyday.

feeling tired.
maybe cause the feelings are increasingly intensive.
and then suddenly one loses balance, and before anyone is able to stabilise, the relationship changes its dynamic. from crawling baby, we've moved on to running..

tiredness comes from lack of sleep, comes from the disappointment, comes from the intense feeling to want to care for someone, and making sure that that person is well taken care of. maybe cause kept running about, and no appreciation, therefore the anxiety.

sunday - the call came that leg was sprained. firstly lack of sleep from saturday. slept at 3am that night. was trying to sleep when the call came. the call did not register, and shortly after that i totally knocked out unexpectedly. went out of house, when telling my dad, then i realised, i've got to go over to make sure things are ok. and then i've missed my first ever salsa performance class.things just moved on throughout the day... and i went home, with a heavy heart, heavy head.

monday - wednesday things went well. home visits with dinner. in a way i was exposed to another side of a person. to get to know the person better. suddenly the differences are highlighted, the similarities are felt, the feelings are intensified.

i realise that its really a love-hate thing. love the feelings, hate the feelings that it brings. hate the ugly side of me that i see, love the things that have been said or heard.

sense of insecurities comes both ways.
got to learn to accept each other.
learn to think positively
learn to communicate
learn to give and take
learn to trust
learn to love

Nose blocked, and eyes swollen

2009-03-24T08:54:00.002+08:00

woke up to the mornign with puffy eyes and blocked nose.
eye bags are getting from bad to worse.. all my rest on sunday night has gone to waste. will try and use this week to recover all my sleep..

missed all my practices for salsa the whole of last week
wednesday, thursday, friday, sat, sunday. didnt turn up for any of my practices. bad bad girl. but then no choice. sigh. now i noe how pple feel le.

its just that either my parnter is not free, and which led me to have further no motivation to go for the practice. and then there was the pulling factor that i would rather go then to go for the practice..... someone has to be responsible u know.....

anyway, this week promised myself to attend all the practices, even to have extra practices. tonight going down even though aan is not there. got to settle my costume and hairdo and make up. thrusday is extra practice with aan since he can only make it on thursday, friday is the class practice. the thing is i sat cannot make it cause of family lunches. sunday practice. damn damn i feel so unprepared...

just hope that today everything will go well for me.
noon time for lunch at ah ma place again. need to zzzzzzzzzz.
ok short break for breakfast.

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?

2009-03-20T09:47:00.001+08:00

You would fall for a Macho Man
Your man is a true guy with big biceps and six-pack abs to boot. He loves sports, beer, and poker. Your Mr. Perfect lives on adrenaline and is brawny and rough around the edges. Although he may not always notice when you get a new haircut or are wearing special dress, your man loves you as much as he knows how, and tries his best to show you. He is pretty old-fashioned and therefore insists on always paying for you, and he is sure to always make you feel like a lady. Although it may seem like he'd rather watch a football game with his buds than take a moonlit walk with you, inside his rough, hunky exterior is a good heart and a solid partner, and that's just the way you like him.

迟来的幸福

2009-03-17T17:00:00.001+08:00

就因为等着迎接这支来的幸福，我已经连续2礼拜凌晨才睡。
现在不小心有了一点点的空隙，要趁机好好休息。往后的日子还长着呢。

i've decided to give salsa reuda a miss. shocking?
haha. think the whole performance class is a little too taxing for me already.
wont be able to go for this sat's class, missed the starting class yesterday.
its 2 out of 5 classes gone le.
and i'm runnign out of savings for the class already. sigh.....

and then the other perforamcen class practices are too packed already.
thursday, friday, sat, sunday. though not always like tat. but sometimes it can be that packed.

no grumbles on that. i had fun during all those practices.
and its really coming together as a team.
we're startign to see the full song performance in full already...
excited excited.

2009 updates

2009-03-06T17:42:00.002+08:00

nope, there're no 2009 items to be updated, in fact, maybe 2 or 9 items to update only. its the 3rd month of the new year already. things are moving much more smoother then expected. as according to gerger, rats are bound for a rather fruitful year for the year of ox.

to qoute and unqoute:

Thursday, March 5
Listen to your mate, partner, and to the people in your life who are telling you that it is time you took control of your diet or a bad habit that is threatening your well being. You have a chance to make a powerful personal change and to influence others to do the same.

points taken, noted and facilitated.
so i'm gonna start on my diet again and take control of my life.
no more fried bee-hoon in the morning. no more strawberry tarts in the morning. no matter how tasty it may seem. (while i'm texting this, my stomach's growling). can't wait for the dinner tonight with the group for shisanyee's bday celeb, and hopefully theres the supper after that. but me not eating. just looking.

so truth to say, a certain extent of it came true.
someone or some people made a powerful personal change to me, and i do hope that i've made some powerful changes in their life too.

update number 2:
i'm joining the performance class for salsa. yes. thats the crazy decision i was talking about. i've joined the class 5 weeks back, and since then the routine are as such:

saturday morning: tuition for a levels chemisty (the one and only student thus far for the year)
saturday afternoon: 2pm -4pm starting last sat, extra practice session at JJ for the perf class. no instructors just pure practice. followed by 5 to 630pm proper class at JJ for intermediate 3, think we might move up to Reuda 1. but then i think i might stop that. see how. 7pm onwards, union social dancing. however i've not been to any of the sessions since after v.day for various various reasons.
sunday morning is usually rest day, followed by napping to catch up on energy. 5onwards to 11pm or even later, is the actual perf class. 2 full hours of pilates style stretching then the choreo and dancing comes into play.

its fun. its been some time since i got back into such production style of living already. it just seems that recently many things are happenign in my life.

and i am glad that things are moving.
that things are changing
that others are growing and
that i am growing too.

isolation

2009-02-19T15:30:00.002+08:00

the whole feeling of isolation is back again.
i'm feeling uncomfortable in my current environment.
maybe its time to move. but move where?

maybe before that, should self reflect le ba.
sometimes being too sensitive is not such a good thing.
haha. i'm like working in a clown environment. ok maybe others are not the clown. but i feel like i am. pretense. smiles. insecurity. uncertainty.

in a corporate world, think thats what its meant to be ba.
no other ways that things can move le.
wonder how you get friends when u're working.
are there really friends around in the working world.
maybe its just me.. sigh..

sad to end on such a negative note.

salsa

2009-02-16T01:04:00.001+08:00

salsa once again.
recently its really crazy.
the decisions i recently made. haha. really u'll be amazed and wat i can think of. haha. even i'm shocked

anyway just to have an openign.
cause my eyes cant' open much longer.
i goign to sleep le. will leave this for tomorrow when i got hte time to write.

女人与小人难养也

2009-02-11T15:37:00.003+08:00

女人与小人难养也。

who doesnt agree on the above statement. please voice it out.
generally this is what i feel la. these few days.
especially when the 小人is a 女人, all the more bad bad combination.
and when the 小人 converts another 女人 into a 小人 , haha. world war 3 is upon you already. and you realise you're all alone. wheres my saviour???? where??

and i was told that this job, i will be able to excel in it.
that the 小人 in my life is gone. yeah right. gone to where?
i need my 贵人 not my 小人.

25 Random Things about Me

2009-02-04T09:20:00.000+08:00

1) I am female, mid 20s (oh my can't imagine i am at that age range already...*shivers*) and happiily still single.

2) There are 4 in my family, my dad, my mom, my brother and me. All of whom, quite a number of you have already seen.

3) I have a huge paternal family. 13 close cousins, 5 uncles and 2 aunties (not including in-laws). Every chinese new year, its a march out wherever we go. 7 cars, 15 children, 14 adults.

4) I completed my primary school in KCPPS. Completed my Sec school in CHIJ Sec (Toa Payoh), JC at Anderson, then moved on to NUS. nothing huge there, just a straight forward edcuation scheme expected by many in my generation. either JC or poly, it really doesn't make a diff. if only i knew what i wanted back in the past.... anyway no regrets..

5) I always believe that my mentality is slightly 1 or 2 years older than my actual age. with that thinking,i prefer to be treated like an adult.

6) I may appear to be a 大女人, yet i would want to be treated like a 小女人. like all women, thats one big contradicting factor.

7) I have always wanted to go for overseas studies, to learn to live life in a different environment and test my survival skills. its do or die situation.

8) I was a very nice little innocent girl who never knew what drinking, clubbing, pubbing was until i got to know some pple. haha. you know who you are... anyway i'm still that nice little innocent girl but now i know.....

9) I am always interested in chinese culture and history. did higher chinese in school, but i did not major in chinese studies in JC or in NUS. finally fulfilled my dream to be in CLDDS whilst in JC, then went on to the alumni, then now i finally retire.

10) I graduated with a minor in China Studies, just for interest and for the fun of it.

11) I've visited places like, Vietnam, Japan, Malaysia, China and china and china and china.... haha. still intending to go China stil, but now hoping to expand out..

12) My secondary school friends kept thinking that i am a chinese teacher. do i look like that? even some of my new found friends thought that i am. maybe cause i'm hanging around some teachers in the group. and i do think i look more like a teacher than some.

13) I'm a blogger, who blogs now and then at random. started blogging since 2005. its quite nostalgic looking back at the articles.

14) I'm learnign salsa at a dance school right now. its not what i've expected myself to be doing 3 years back. but i'm glad i made the choice. and thanks stella for chioing me for that fateful class. now i'm happily in love with the activity. though there are moments when i dont enjoy too.

15) I am a easily emotional person, who takes things easily to heart, at choice. get fed up easily especially with my closed ones.

16) I am currently not working what i'm studying. graduated with a science degree but working in a travel industry as a marketing executive.

17) i was once described as "ice mountain", or "surrounded with a thick thick layer of ice". needs lots of warming up to get to know me. (but after this, at least you've gotten past the first 2 layers already).

18) nowadays, pple dont see me as introvert le. but i must shout to all. I AM!!!! haha.

19) I love to watch movies, tv series etc, but maybe cause i was involved in productions before etc, i tend to feel that all movies shows are good shows. cause of the efforts placed into it. there are always good points, no matter how limited it is, to a movie. so my critic is always a minimum "ok la"

20) I am a naggy person, who tries to act mature in many ways. but as mentione, i am a cute, little innocent girl at heart. so gors gors and jie jies must take care of me k.

21) I am a very imaginative girl. who gets jealous quite easily but have already mastered the art of masking it unless i delibrately show it. then thats another story. haha.

22) My current wish includes: starting and maintaining a exercise regime, which would lead to a slimer and healthier me. to improve on my salsa dancing techniques which is always fluactuating. to grow that inner confidence which gets eaten up so ever easily. to travel to many parts of the world, to live and breathe life. to earn loads of money to support all of the above

23) I love to travel, traveling with my loved ones are the best thing that can happen in my life.

24) I would love to pick up certain things in the near future: golf, yoga, treking, swimming, cooking, financial accounting, networking, squash.

25) I started writign this note cause i was tagged.

2009-01-30T09:29:00.004+08:00

just need some moral boosting, so taking out all my salsa videos and recap. damn. last night was really bad. haha.

sob sob. never danced this badly before (last night). argh..

2009-01-29T23:25:00.002+08:00

disappointment filled the night, and part of the day, and yesterday.

went down to salsa with another friend of mine. last minute arrangement.
very bad. sigh. how to go for performance class like tat. argh.. having second thoughts. seriously. really did not perform up to standard. argh.

my tat friend is so good. he usually goes alone, and then asks the gals there to dance. today think cause he asked me down, so quite restricted, and guess what he did, he asked other guys to dance with me. other really really pro dancers to dance with me. and i feel so embarrass cause i cant do it well.
especially the last one. i wanna cry le la.. argh sob sob sob.

jia you jia you jia you!!!!
tired..
zzzz..

2009-01-27T00:44:00.002+08:00

haha. my first entry in the new lunar year, is opened by a small video done up the weekend before cny. haha. this most prob will be my one and only video you see me upload online of me dancing. haha. wat a way to start the year!

Happy Niu Year! Gong Xi Fa Cai, Gong Hei Huat Choi!

Niu Year Resolutions...
still not thought of. very jialat.
the year started in a daze! but some things are still for sure to be done and carried out. hee. none other then the few things in mind since dont know how many years back...

1) build up stamina, lose the extra kilos, have a healthier lifestyle
2) get attached, as usual... today so many asking. or rather a few concerned questions came my way. and towards my mom. haha. pity her. but she's on my side. so is my dad.. needs time..
3) improve on my dancing. theres a chance of it coming. which is already on the way to fulfulling. see how.but in order to do that, i need to built up my stamina, lose the extra kilos, and earn more $$$$$
4) earn more $$$$$$$$ who doesn't!?!

the day didnt start well, neither did it end well. hoping to wash away the disappointment and anxiety that i held for the whole day, but it didnt happen. long story. just hope taht all my bad luck will end today. and a new day will start when the sun rises and when i open my eyes to the new sun in the morning again.

the Niu Year will be a better year.
it will be!!

gong xi fa cai

it should be quite pleasing to see my collegues tomorrow. hee.

2009-01-20T22:13:00.003+08:00

thats me.
the sceneries are very nice.
i had fun taking all the pictures, since i had nothing much else to do.
thats real sakura in bloom as the background. hee. we do not have to fly to japan to see sakura le. haha. but had to endure 7 hours of bus journey to get to Dalat, amongst the mountain to experience it.

generally the trip can be summarised in the following few lines la.

the trip is good. in terms of organization, in terms of the destinations etc.
the trip is good also cause i like the place. anyway i seldom dislike a place tat i went to. there are always nice points that i can grow to love. vietnam is a place of passion. as intorduced by the tour guide. it is a romantic place where pple show their love for each other openly. pple are relaxed and enjoy their life the simple way they are. not like us.. sigh.. that is sth we can take back.

i've got to know myself slightly better, noe my friends even better.
good and bad way. but then. yup thats another story. but all i can say is that i'm not going to plan for another trip so soon. need to recover myself.

January update

2009-01-19T23:38:00.003+08:00

back yesterday. landed in singapore at abt 6pm.
one word to summarize the trip. memorable. in both a negative and positive way.
anyway more updates later. i took down some random thoughts while there, will update later too. haha.

i'm fine. in case whoever saw my msn nick.
fine after nagging and bitching to dear ger ger. haha. always the impartial one to bring me back to earth after i bitch enough. my aunt agony. though sometimes hard to take when i know that. damn, she's right. haha. but she's still the best.

chinese new year around the corner already.
so fast, the first month of 2009 is coming to an end. its alreayd past the mid month already. sigh. and i've yet to even settle my new year resolution..... bad bad....
should start listing down. there are so many things i wanna do, so many dreams i wanna fulfil. so many people i wanna meet. so many things i wanna avoid, so many bad habits i wanna get rid of.

deadline: 23rd january 2009.
before CNY comes. at least i can say its the new year resolution for the new lunar year. hee.

well. thanks for everyone. i know whoever reads this cares.
love you all.

2008-12-27T19:35:00.002+08:00

back in singapore!

today counted my number of days that i'll be working for the month of dec = 10days. haha. how cool is that. passed the log in card for boss to sign for me absent days, its astounishing. oh yeah. today i went back to work. yesterday was working from home. lets say its the warm up for the official start of work on monday ba. followed by another 1.5 day public holiday. hee.

trip was ok in general.
japan is BEAUTIFUL. B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.
any corner that i turn, that i see, it is pictorial.
frankly speaking, the place at one glance makes me think of china. the better and more well developed places of china la. but its not.
the culture, the pple makes a lot of difference.

loaded some pictures onto facebook already.
do take a look. think i'll do some collages and upload here at a later date. exclusive for my dear friends.

its new year soon. need to resolutionise my list for the year 2009

Salsa week

2008-12-13T00:06:00.003+08:00

My salsa regime is back again, after a while its back again.
not that i've stopped or watsoever. just tat not so intensive till as of this week.

i did salsa on wed, thursday, friday and then saturday. yippee.. cool..

esp friday. its really really cool. i became a part time instructor!! how cool is that. haha. ok la. i wasn't really teaching. more like just the partner. but then, i was the dance partner of my dance instructor for the whole night.. WHOLE NIGHT. haha. i'm over the clouds man.

though its fun la, its pretty tiring. at the end of the whole week, i already very very tired le. dozed in and off on sunday.

went to visit koko in hospital with xr. as wat xr says, its a long time we last met up, and then we actually met up in the hospital. best of best le. sigh. dont knwo wat to say to her le. tat gal har....

2008-11-18T23:56:00.002+08:00

feeling down today.

feeling very lousy today.

how does it feel when someone whom u tot is a friend is talking behind your back and calling u a bitch? tats how i felt today. hated it. and now i despice her. i look down on her.

and i also look down on myself for not being able to handle the situation properly.

in a sense, i've ran away from it and avoided the situation. dealing it in an unacceptable way and let it worsen. so i've no one to blame except myself too.

i just hope for a fresh start. for many things.

thanks dears. to whomever heard me bitch abt my dirty laundries out in the open.
thansk to jason whom found me in a corner of the stairwell and hear me bitch.
thanks to shihui who wanted to meet me up tat night
thanks to david who listend to me bitch, and for hte little gift.
thanks to all whom i know will support me. and tell me I"M NOT A BITCH!!!
but i admit. i'm one who does things for my own good....
and also for the good of others.

update

2008-11-13T21:49:00.003+08:00

oh my gosh. so tired these few days.

dont know why. especially today. so sian.

today is total hectic.rushing for this and that.
then my brother and dad's trip got problem. got to last minute book hotel for them. so scary. its really very last minute. they today go hongkong, expect me to book today's room for them. then they dont have credit card, so how am i to book the hotel for them? jialat la.

so today was running about the office looking for the correct person to help me book the hotel with. finally i managed to contact the hotel and book on my own. thank goodness.

tmr is yet another taxing day.
workload already preplanned for me.
going to dress accordingly. haha. cause going to be stress. i better wear something comfortble for me to sit long hours in, stretch and yet hide my fats. haha.

tired mentally also. its a torment and an enjoyment!!

Women in life

2008-11-02T11:08:00.001+08:00

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

I just did. Short and very sweet:

There are more than twenty angels in this world.
Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds.
Nine are playing.
And one is reading her email at this moment.

Happy days!

Name Numerlogy

2008-11-02T11:06:00.001+08:00

Full Name entered:
There are 14 letters in your name.
Those 14 letters total to 77
There are 5 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 1

A Soul Urge number of 1 means:
Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.

The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.

The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

2008-11-02T10:55:00.002+08:00

a brief update.

not really enjoying my office work recently. the situation made me wanna hurry up and escape back into the arms of education again. which i'm already starting to look into it already. hopefully everything will flow through and i can move on.

tuition is coming to an end for the year 2008. have to start sourcing for new students already. next year work schedule is expected to be lesser,maybe 4 days week. so got to make up for the lost in tuition. if not no more income already.... so anyone has got any lobang pls contact me k.

i'm a year and 1 week older already. how time flies. very very scary.
my new year resolution... yet to decide... think better start planning for 2009 already. a few things on the list. have to really decide and plan. i'm scared.. really...

recently became addicted to online stuff. think cause of my time in office surfing net. now every night i come home its internet... too addictive alrady. not good... got to do something about it soon before it gets out of hand.

LOST mp3

2008-11-02T10:36:00.002+08:00

Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Though things have seem to change
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

23rd october - real time update 2

2008-10-23T14:31:00.002+08:00

Real Time update 2

before lunch this is wat happened:
1) work at office still ok. company at office is getting worse.
2) feeling sian when all my dear friends came to my rescue. and amongst the small gifts that i've gotten thus far, there's one in particular that stood out. i've got my own signature emoticon for use on msn. this new found friend actually went to search and do up a emoticon just for me. oh. he's the one that told me i look like one of the national table tennis player of japan. here's the link to some of the photos he found.
http://images.google.com.sg/images?ndsp=18&um=1&hl=en&q=Ai+Fukuhara&start=162&sa=N

just went for lunch.
used the 1 hour to
1) hair cut at kimage- complimentary from ivy, with an appointment with her hairstylist. glad i came down for the hair trim and groom today. now its neat and lighter.
2) go up to my ah ma place for a quick lunch. ate my bday mee sua. last minute decision. but glad i did so.

came back, my collegues cut cake for me. birthday celebration. hee. but many of my other colleuges came into the room for bday greetings. happy. cause i think i've made it to at least have a certain amount of connection with them. hee.

yup thats all

23rd October 2008 - real time update 1

2008-10-23T09:16:00.002+08:00

Real Time update 1:

count of pple who called: my 2 dearest - koko and xr. thanks bro for staying up to after midnight to give me a call. know that you're usually asleep by 11pm le. dearest koko called me!! yipee. haha. glad to have her coming on friday night. can't wait. right now thats my motivation at work le.

woke up this mornign at 5 plus, then 6 plus, then finally the alarm rang at 7plus. finally!! kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

now at office. first greeting came from ivy. thanks. i'm going to spend her bday present later on during lunch time. second present came from one of the sales manager. now i've got a bag of "bei bei" on my table. hee.

well. so far like tat. very sian at office.
as usual, i'm correct. someone is just there to outdo, outshine me. sigh...

2008-10-21T09:03:00.003+08:00

week long update.

1) work is chaotic. i'm starting to see the withdrawl syndromes already. withdrawl syndromes of wanting to escape from so many stupid jobs thrown at me. starting to really dislike my collegue for the things she does. very sian. really very sian.

maybe i should really start to think about switching job already. since i'm not enjoying the work here. but sad to say. i quite sian. am i really cut out for the corporate line.. am i? am i? am i?

2) my dependency level on someone is slowly increasing. ok la. not one but a couple. this is bad too. cannot cannot. before things turn bad, i better snap out of it first.

3) salsa as usual. starting to enjoy it more. this thursday managed to get the group together again for a get together at union.

4)oh. over the weekend, i had my first ever gastric pain. scary. according to him, its due to the stress level. so i'm not supposed to eat this that, do this do that..
hye hye sire. but i'll be letting go of that restriction order on friday. hee.

abstract entry. many ambiguous names and terms. hee. lookign forward to friday.

Salsa week

2008-10-12T16:56:00.002+08:00

it seems that the salsa fever is catching back up on me again.

wednesday I2 class at singtel. followed by thumper.
friday intermediate class for latin trio - chacha, barchata, merenge.
sat I1 for salsa at JJ. followed by union (maybe) maybe not.

but i'm having second thoughts now. having thoughts of maybe having a revamp of the salsa group composition. sad to say. i hate the combination right now. i feel negative feelings at times. tats bad.

anyway, friday had salsa social night. happening day for me- friday. but thats another story. not happening as in happening, but that of unlucky incidents one after the other. and it didnt get better on sat.

was there for the first dance all the way to the last dance. 10pm to 1230pm. in dress. my corporate dress. wonder how i managed to dance throughout in that.

went for supper after that. went home only at 2plus am.

sat had JJ class. then dinner at buger king. than went over to union square. for another round. but due to the lack of sleep. and the full consecutive hours of tuition, my dad's car accident, and salsa tutoring for the newbies just prior to the class, i'm beat. in reallly bad shape. was in no state to dance properly.

glad to say i was approached for a dance. but by a shortie. not to say wat. he's good. but then i'm already tired. i'm danicng in front of the stage. others are looking. i've yet to warm up cause i'm so tired. but eventually i pulled through. managed to compose myself and dance properly.

then was asked for another dance. in front of the group. it was ook. managed to concentrate too. ok la. it was good i would say. just tat cant do some properly at times. but with uncle sam was bad. totally bad. stoned in the middle of the dance floor. legs refused to move. stuck. bad. bad. htink too stressed to handle his moves le. haha.

but after tat was ok. dancing with the rest of the other guys in the group. proud to say, my students! haha. ego ego. but i'm tired.

and it seems that the day's event surfaced some of the issues within my new found close friends and me. sigh.

thats another report for another day. .

off to another tuition again. to 10pm.

2008-10-03T17:21:00.004+08:00

Relax Promo - my bday treat to myself.

looking forward to the day...

2008-09-22T17:00:00.002+08:00

there was a period of time last week when i was seriously thinking of stopping/ havign a break from salsa. stop for a month or so and take a break. the next thing i know, friday is here, and off i went to class and things are back to normal again.

though i do feel kind of disgusted by what the group turned out to be like. the shock came and went when i met up with them again. think i'm just a perfectionist and demands the same from others. when things fail to turn out that way, i can't accept it and back off. but things can't work like this in the real world i would have lost alot of opportunities, and i have indeed missed many and lost many

its one of those days on wednesday... totally low in morale. to top it off, the group seemed to have been contaminated. yes i'm using the word contamination... a little strong la. i know. but thats my feeling at the point in time. and the thing is i think i'm jealous i'm not in the plague. sigh...

ok ok. point is. i wanted out of the group and start another salsa group. but then yup, i'm back in again. stronger then ever. haha. with a stronger resolution. i want to be good!! really good!!!haha.

improvements so far still in progress. last friday at JJ proved to be a right choice to put me back on track, mentality wise, i know i'm moving forward step by step. i'm gonna sign up for the jj class in oct, but due to some restrictions and plead, i'm starting at intermediate 1 again. but nvm. as shihui says, i'll have to join them, and make use of it to brush up on my basics. from scratch basic.

feelings on the dance floor must remain on the dance floor. you bring it out of the dance floor, you're screwed. big time.

this friday for the first time, i'm gonna skip my lesson. my non-salsa friday. hee. october more to come.... Jj class on sat, singtel class on wed, friday chacha and barchata. i'm gonna spend so much on my dancing le. sigh. haha. with resolution comes expenses.

i think i've lost weight leh. but think before i can confirm that i gotta go get a new weighing machine to confirm it.

2008-09-02T14:44:00.002+08:00

what does it take for someone to get to know another.
what does it take for someone close to you to hurt you so much.

just a sentence.
be it on purpose or she just seems to lack the intelligence to know that it cannot be said. that gesture could have cost a valuable friendship.

how much does a friendship cost?
some take it lightly, friendships are flaunt in their face, trampled on their feet.
some cry over the slightest agitation and die for it.

it really just sets one thinking, friendship values friendship.
does it change as time progress, or does it change as circumstances change.

if one end of the relationship is let loose, should one still continue holding on to the opposite end?

updates

2008-08-25T17:35:00.002+08:00

updates updates been lagging behind in many of my updates.

still in the new company working. managed to survive thus far already. hoping to survive for another 1 year before moving on. cause i think i need the time to really think through my career prospect. many thoughts have to be put to it......sigh... before i go back to schooling.

recently just booked my tour package to Japan. so its official, i'll be going japan 18th December, expected to come back during christmas. hopefully we can make it to extend to after xmas so we can have the xmas there. it should be really really cool. but if cannot its still ok. i think i'll enjoy my itineary there.

thinking of taking up some language classes. thinking of taking up more dance classes. but then... no money. cause there are so many things thtat i wanna do. and it seems that since i got into the new job, i can't really save up much. lunch expenses is increasing. shopping and entertainment expenditure is increasing. number of classes attending is increasing....think my next on the list is to take up PR training courses. i seem to be really lacking in that

dance classes-- how can i miss that out.. its a must say.. we've formed our own small group of salsa goers. every wednesday is our training day. training ground is thumper. managed to get more pple involved. including this guy called uncle sam. he's really good. though initially we thought that he's quite aloft. tao.. in other words to say. but now that he knows us, he's crazy.. and he really likes dancing...hopefully we can get him to come down for our friday practice after the class. if not thursday would be good too. anyway our wed class at xenbar is ending soon. and seriously if we're going back, it'll be only because of uncle sam. haha. thats our only "shou huo" cause the class there isn't really ideal... anyway its finally over. so thank goodness!!did some video of our practices, for reviewing purpose so we know where we went wrong.. too paisei to load it on. if you do see any of my video here. it means that i'm there!!!! pro!!! haha. which means.. never....hee

2008-08-07T19:03:00.002+08:00

finally had the time to update.

1) work related issues. many ups and downs. slowly beginning to derive a momentum and personality in my work. slowly through some hard ups and downs but its showing results. noticeable change in the company. just got complimented. one more down! yipee. getting closer to the target! but more landmines around what we're doing right now. profile building!

2) relationship isses. been meeting up new friends from many different fields. really nice people. gals and guys. note. relationship issues here are comprehensive. inclusive of friendships. so i'm still single. haha. announcing to the whole world. but then i'm enjoying it so no complains.

3) pastime - i'm more into salsa. wat's new right... i've officially started and ended my rumba. in a class. haha. not going to continue the class which i've signed up for, attended for 1 class and after 1 week, finally decided that i'm not going to pay to get my monday screwed. so i'm no longer taking rumba. going to concentrate on salsa. ... thus... going to invest some to enrol in professional classes. was commented tat my turning still not stable. which is very very true. sigh. no matter wat i do. well.. see how things go.

just side track. yesterday went to thumper. it's really fun. the funnest so far. haha. was really dancing and dancing. even though we have more gals than guys. hee. managed to dance with other guys too. pros.. but din't handle it well. hopefully they'll still continue to ask me to dance next week. *fingers crossed*

4)financial status. i'm still very poor. but recently, i've spent more then i should. within the week. pocket empty before the month is even halfway through. that is bad. argh... and i've yet to register for my class!!! argh!! but well, casue 3 birthdays this 2 months. 3 good friends. i'm really broke.

thats all for now. think this week turned out pretty well for me. 2 nights for me to take a break too and be a good girl to stay home dinner. hee.

Butt hurting exercise

2008-07-20T17:45:00.002+08:00

Butt hurting regime. that would be how i describe the horse riding experience.

just went on a 2 day 1 night horse riding trip at riders' lodge. really really cool. 1hour basic introductory on getting onto horse and leading the horse. i won't say steering cause i think its too low a word to describe such an intelligent being.
the second day its 1.5hours jungle trail where we go high up into the mountains and down the valley. 13 horses in a single file crossing the boundary really reminds us so much of the Lord of the Rings.

I was so so honored to ride on Mr Grey for the first day. lazy bum he is, greedy and stubborn too. but just like the Miss Tracy who was riding him for the day. He is really really MANLY. haha. won't budge means no way i can get him to move. kept urging him to move on but nope no means no.

Golden Fly is so beautiful. a really nice shade of golden brown. very tall. but a little lazy too, kept dragging his legs along the route. but he is so sweet. didn't really give me much of a trouble except the slight hiccups here and there that i was so scared he's gonna trip and we're all gonna fall. he even stopped and nipped flowers for me.. no la. for himself.

pity didn't really get to take photos of myself on the horse. cause i was concentrating at the horse and the course and din see pris trying to get a shot at me.

the food there is ok. not too bad. all meals provided within the package. we even got an extra natural hike around the plantation taking the similar routes that we rode on earlier. now we understand totally how they feel.

oh. by the way. there wasn't anyone guiding us. we were on the horse entirely on our own except for the first 5 and last 5 minutes when they came to collect the horse.

but agreed. i better go lose weight if i wanna do more horse riding. cause i really really really pity the horse carrying me. heaving sighs of tiredness every now and then...... bleah..

2008-07-15T15:35:00.002+08:00

today super low morale at work.
can't do things properly at all. feel like bursting out in tears at every intermediate.

really feeling very bad at work.
sigh.... got to hold back till after work.

don't know leh. just can't seem to fulfill my work as i wanted to.

2008-07-08T22:28:00.002+08:00

quite vexed at work these days. don't really know how to handle myself. rushing about to settle datelines cuase they're thrown to me really last minute. 1 pax doing 3 pax job. cause one on maternity, 1 on reservist. then everyone seem to think tat i can help them with their stuff. really feel like screaming no. but before i can think things deeper, i said ok. sigh... argh.. that has got to change. tats how i landed up OT for 2 consecutive days le.

but then... still ok... i'm still seeing the rosy picture painted infornt of me. now is how i going to attain that.

stella seems to have moved on. congrats!! envy envy. jia you k!!

hardly met up with them recently already. my bro also commented tat i recently no more mahjong already. haha. cause i doing online mahjong..

another comment: my passion seems to have lasted longer this time round. hurray!!!

ok. got to sleep. cause tmr got to go office early early early. 8am. my official timing is 9am!

2008-06-24T10:38:00.002+08:00

a week passed. another week to come. ....

a couple of things that i wanted done.
a couple of pple that i wanted to meet.

lets just hope that things will go as it is.

work is still ok. i'm starting to slowly see where i'm moving towards. but sometimes its just maddening when things are stagnant and i start to think otherwise. it still is right now. i'm still getting green in envy with many things happening around me. i'm still very green in my duties and my responsibilities.

sigh.

but well things i hope are getting better. i hope. i really hope.
i'm still not contented with whats going on right now.

2008-06-18T09:02:00.003+08:00

thats me and my colleague ivy. cute right!! she's only 22 this year and happily married, blissfully indulging in all the good food and without any care for it. i can't really go on a diet here cause of her and boss who just can't cannot go for good lunch. haha. heck care le la. i'm enjoying myself.

think i'll disclose a little photo of my boss and his wife here among the many pictures. happy guessing. shouldn't be too hard.

2008-06-16T11:05:00.003+08:00

Went for an event at DFS last friday. My first ever. Its pretty cool, interesting yet boring. haha. not much to do there. but look look see see. appear glam.
a big boo boo though. there are some major screw up on their side which caused my boss to be really upset. but well. it was fun nonetheless cause of the company that we were with.

hope to have more coming, which means that i would need to get more dresses which i don't mind. haha. expecting more more more!!! hee. this is wat marketing should be doing wat!!! hee.

monday blues

2008-06-02T10:39:00.002+08:00

bad blues today.

woke up feeling tired.
weekend not well rested cause i've been catching up on my vcds.

left one last disc to go for The Legend. 4 more episodes. and i can't watch it tonight cause i've got class to go for.. sigh.

work din really start off well today. maybe cause i'm in the blues.
and maybe cause i just don't feel like engaging in the discussion of house renovation of my colleague and boss.

sigh. bad start.
but at least, i've accomplished 2 parts of my work till now. so see how goes.

2008-05-31T22:38:00.002+08:00

crazy weekend.

how crazy?

last minute arrangement to go ktv today with shihui. turned out, no more rooms available. so the voucher cannot be used at all. sorry stella for wasting the voucher.
so wat did we end up doing? at j8, we were walking ard and calling pple up who might wanna get the voucher. then eventually after an hour, we went ard getting some snacks then took bus over to my place. end point we din get any shopping done except food. haha. fattening.

then we came over to my place and watched movie. sounds like wat a couple would do right. haha. we're STRAIGHT. haha. anyway we were wondering what can couples do? cause eventually will run out of things to do right? or they're always capable of finding things to do if they're really in love in the relationsihp? just wondering.

ok. so we actually spent the day doing nothing much at all. things went all wrong. nothing concrete came out of it. for me at least i still completed my tuition session. shihui totally wasted the day away, being led into wrong appointments cause of miscommunication. sigh.

frankly speaking. enthu seems to be dying for the salsa class. can't really imagine the next month or so if there's no more classes. i think i might go other places for class. sigh...

anyway the weekend will really be resting time. to ready for the full blast next week. really looking forward to the projects on hand. hee.

2008-05-31T01:37:00.002+08:00

very tired. these few days very very very tired.

today met up with ex-collegues for dinner. was very very late. why?
cause i took this bus service tat went round whompoa, going by the interchange twice, then going down to lavendar, going one big loop in order to get to the same bus route as the other buses. and then at lavendar it was super jam. so it was pretty late by the time i reach liang court.

late late.
sigh.

fulfilling work this week.

website mock up going to be up soon for presentation for bosses. really looking forward to the final outcome. its really the effort of the whole team!! cool.

today red nano came over. was curious abt it. but then have to really think through. can go try online the application though.

tired. yawn.

2008-05-15T09:14:00.002+08:00

seems like my recent blogs are all gonna be abt my dance classes. haha.
for those who've seen my nick on msn, it says "chacha, macharta, rock n roll, salsa"

hee. now the wed class will be moving on the marcharta. hee. can't wait.

yesterday was good practice. we continued on throughout to 10pm until we were chased out. so its really like kept dancing and dancing lo. really falling in love with it. din ever imagine myself dancing. haha.

my mentor just went on maternity leave, 2 days ahead of schedule cause the baby is really too heavy, anytime it'll burst out already. good luck little tanya!! hope everything turns out fine.

was just complaining to friend abt the disastrous macritchie walk i had recently. intend to make up for it next month for the chem gals outing. going for the tree top walk. any suggestions as to timing? never been there before. hope its nice. i love the macritchie, the pond side trail. its lovely esp in the evening.

next month, got to plan another day of salsa practice at my place. hee. having big plans!!! haha.

work is proceeding pretty well. work load slowly picking up but enjoying the pace and the work. so its still ok. i still get to do my own stuff, like blogging, online shopping, msn, skype etc. hee.

new regime

2008-05-13T18:07:00.002+08:00

brief update on my new regime which i've stated down in my previous entry.

1) morning exercise went on as planned. took a walk around the estate in the morning. quite refreshing, but weird cause many pple are getting out to work and i'm still having my morning walk ard the estate. but i ended up almost late cause my watch slowed, and i misgauged my timing.

today slept in, cause last night had some work out in class. really cool. refer to below. anyway i only prepared for alternate days work-out only.

2) been having lunch at ah ma's place - ie. napping time, followed by packaging of fruits back to office. hee. not really hungry though. think its cause of the packed breakfast i usually have.

3) dancing on monday was way COOL!! haha. really liked the class. but frankly speaking i still prefer andrew's teaching. more charismatic, but eelson is ok. just tat he's really a teacher teacher. andrew is more arty. but nonetheless, the class is nice. haha. thank goodness for my hour of crash course on thursday if not i would have died of embarrassment. everyone is so pro!!!

tmr having my second intermediate, really hope it turns out better. the class is still the same, but somethings' extra there. if not for last sat's extra session at my place, i think i would have totally lost hope le. forgotten abt the steps tat i've learnt cause there just isn't enough guys to be rotated around. i was sitting around for half the class lo. but think tmr should be better. i hope. fingers crossed.

oh. brief update on sat. sat the salsa class, about 10 of them came over to my place. so we had a salsa session from abt 6 to 11pm. haha. give and take, we danced nearly for about 3.5 hours average. after dinner, we had a mahjong game, 3 fixed players plus 1 rotating player from the dancing group. haha. mahjong session continued to 2am in the morning. lucky stella and calvin drove over.

hee. quite successful for a first session. i hope. any feedbacks? was thinking to do another one. but got to find some way to solve the hotness. that day my place seemed to have turned to sauna. sorry folks abt that.
think will ask them tmr see wat they think. hee.

2008-05-09T14:47:00.002+08:00

last night was crazy.
stayed back after work to wait for boss.
along the way back started discussing abt his proposal and his wedding etc... so me n ivy became his wedding planner. well, mainly ivy cause she's gone through it already. he's proposing tonight. but they've already registered for ROM already. haha. funny arrangement of procedures at work.

last night was supposedly practice night. but i was told in the afternoon that no guys going down so cancelled it. after dinner met 'cher'-shihui for shopping at amk. (toa payoh down to amk) was only walking through the first floor i received a call say that there are pple down at studio!!! so off i went from amk to somerset. haha.

no regrets there. cause i learnt rock n roll basics, learnt majarta and did salsa too. very cool. now thursday gonna be my personal practice time with different instructors FOC. haha. so thursday u all know where to look for me le. hee.

next week boss out station, so i'm still pending and sitting on what he might have for me to do. i sure hope there are things to do. anyway i'm suppposed to help lighten his work load aren't i? praises so far for the new department, coming from my boss only. sad to say marketing and sales dont work together. so my boss, as GM for sales and marketing, also bo pian, but happy to say, his baby is marketing dept. hee.hee.

monday onwards, i'm gonna carry out my new regime.
monday, wed, friday - morning go for 1 hour exercise. choice of swimming and jogging
lunch diet - restricted to only soup and light meals
dinner diet - no rice.
monday, wed, thursday and sometimes friday evening - dancing. Wed night top it off with dancing at thumper.
weekends day - tuition, followed by proper meals and rest.
weekends night - free for booking.
...ps.. my tuesday evening and friday evenings are free for booking. been mentioning so, but no one seems to notice. sigh... ok lo.

2008-05-08T15:46:00.002+08:00

just a follow up on a conversation which set me thinking.

emotional vs rational.

someone once said that i can be heartless if i want to.
gals are heartless creatures generally. reasons, don't ask why, i see it in myself everyday. so you pple are reading articles and diaries of a heartless person.

it seems that i can rationalize my emotions. so is that emotional or rational?
i can be emotional and come to a decision at the spur of moment, after which i start thinking up reasons to make up for my decision. answer: childish. i'm being childish. concluded.

so its during the process of me rationalizing my decisions, that i start asking for opinions etc etc that makes me sound so damn contradicting. so dont worry, actually i usually still end up with my initial decision.

so my recent contradiction is as such. to lessen the impact of a few issues by dismissing or lowering down their priorities. thats cowardice now that its plainly put in words... or to face it up front and foresee my lack of stand in the issue since i don't wanna lose it at all.

2008-05-02T09:04:00.002+08:00

2nd May. 1 rest day on labour day.
It was really rest day for me - I knocked out totally after tuition which added by noon time. slept for a couple of hours before i went out to get hp from boo.

these few days, weekends are all rest day ie. sleeping day. hee. wonder why? i also don't know haha.

wed went with stella, calvin, shihui and a few other salsa classmates down to union square. so so so crowded. lucky we went down earlier which meant we managed to get to dance for the first few couple of songs. other than that its waiting time and eyeing time. to eye a spot for dancing. its so crowded!!!

hee. but glad that stella will be joining the intermediate class next. then can have another kaki le. hee. manage to convert shihui to another dancing kaki. now hoping pris can join in too. hee. next venture for dancing class - 10 May, dancing at my place. after tat mahjong. wow!! haha. don't know how it'll turn out though. hee. can't wait for it to happen.

work here is ok. still honeymoon period, which i am trying to appreciate and cope with to make sure my speed does not slacken. cause i was told that my GM is holding back for me to do some reading up before piling things on me. i most prob taking over quite a share of his work in analysing market and sales data for him. hee.

online shopping goers pls chio me. cheers

2008-04-17T16:17:00.002+08:00

Thumper at Goodwood Park Hotel, another place to Salsa the night away. Every Wednesday, free entry. Nice crowd, nice music, but not that nice carpark.

Last night, after class, the group of us popped by Thumper to give it a try, an alternative to Union Square, and to my surprise, i prefer this better then union. hee. cause its less crowded maybe. hopefully next wed which marks the end of our wed class beginners we can all go together again. really looking forward to it. just that why must it be a wed? why not friday??

its really fun to have a group of friends who are into the same interest with you, willing to put in the effort and time together with you. hee.

today sort of lost some momentum at work. my boss seems to be those type that will not assign things to you constantly, just give you a general dateline and project, the rest is up to me, unless i bring it up to him. not bad a guy though. thanks.CT

first entry in a new environment

2008-04-16T12:08:00.002+08:00

this is my first entry in the new environment. will take some photos when my desk is more or less set up. now is quite bare except for some photos i took into office to paste on my desktop this morning. other than that everything is as it is yesterday. my first day of work.

started new job yesterday. still figuring my way around since its a total new field in a new industry. settling in pretty well with the help of my new collegues, and the familiar environment. (its at toa payoh!!)

my work starts at 9am, so i can get to sleep in to 8am then wake up and dress up. i'm still trying to reduce my time requried for dressing up, since now i can get to showcase my wardrobe le. haha. hee.

work here is as usual, own time own target, its really depending on oneself, at least till now la. cause mine is project basis. mainly global projects. cool har. but stress har!! i've a deadline next wed! coming up monday a small report to hand in! hee. quite like the stress. same rules apply - keep away from the sales person! they won't come to you unless they need you or they wanna bite you.

aunties here are nice, it seems that those around me, i'm the only one unattached, still single, the rest even the little girl, 22yrs old, marketing assistant is already married last year!!! there are no cute guys, just nice uncles. haha. seems like i'm destined to get into such companies, sigh. pantry here still sucks, but at least theres a fridge and water cooler and a vending machine selling drinks at 30cents per cup.

hardly any OT requried, unless datelines are coming. i'm not really afraid of datelines now that i'm working at toa payoh. however, i'm afraid of whats going to be like in the near future when "mother" goes on maternity leave and the wolves start charging at the 2 little girls inside the office. sigh. but i'll learn all the ropes by then. hopefully.

counting down

2008-04-10T10:11:00.002+08:00

just some random thoughts on my leaving of the company... as stella might have kindly put, i see this as the final outlet of the negative feelings. it may be letting steam, but it may also escalate the negative feelings further upon more elaboration. but well, at least i'm doing something.

tmr is my last day of work. no one mentioned anything at work, whether is there any farewell party etc. well. not really feeling too good about it at all. feel really unappreciated. but then all the more made me confirm that my decision is correct. my decision to move on is right. and all the more make it easier for me to leave the collegues i've known here. not that they're very good or wat. but feelings do develop over this past 2 years.

its really a mixture of feeling for the past few days.

thought that salsa class would brighten up, it did, but eventually its slightly dampened. i realised that in order to dance well, its really essential to be able to dance! natural dancers. no matter how much effort i put in, it'll still be the same. what a way to end my week right? sigh. friday have another lesson. really don't wanna end my work, my week, my dance class like that.

need to do some shopping therapy. soon!!!

salsa craze

2008-03-28T23:15:00.002+08:00

my addiction is getting worse....

how bad did it evolve into???

1) dance class - beginners on wednesday. for basic practice
2) social dance session - hopefully on thursday to practice what we have learnt on wed and friday.
3) dance class intermediate - on friday. today first lesson. damn stress. they're pro lo. anyway my new found partner have decided that we will put in the effort on wed and thursday to practice after class.
4) dance shoes - i'm gonna get a pair. cause what i'm wearing now is killing me, casuing so many blisters, and its not really smooth turning. the shoe is killing me and i'm killing my shoes.
5) i intend to continue with the wednesday intermediate class once it starts. so it'll be 2 subsequent intermediate class in a week for further drilling.

hee. and i'm happy. i'm ok dancing with different guy partners. the feeling is good. learning together. and its damn good exercise la. just that after i get used to it it seems that i don't sweat that easily. or tat i'm getting lazy in perfecting the stance. so just to share the joy of my new found love!! hee.

next up - online shopping!!

been addicted to online shopping due to my long lost friend chin chin whom i managed to get back cause of salsa class. hee. just happened to put in my nick, and she wanted to join in too. hee. so now she introduce me to online shopping. hee. now i'm getting some stuff from taiwan. waiting for it to come in. hope its ok. currently starting with www.orangebear.com.tw. anyone saw anything nice there can just drop me a note, i can help collate and get in. FOC service. hee. for now.. *wink*

online shopping.

2008-03-27T17:55:00.000+08:00

recently quite into online shopping.
currently targeting on this website: orangebear.com.tw. have already registerd an account. so if anyone interested in any of the items there. please let me know. i'm trying to collate and get some orders coming soon.

new upcomings

2008-03-24T15:26:00.002+08:00

yipee!! found a new job. a new future, though quite scared of it, but at least i see a future and new hopes in it.

i'll really miss the pple here at my current job. namely the few la, not all. think you know who's not included in it.

monday to friday working time, 830 to 6pm.
location: toa payoh.
time available to meet up with friends: weekday 6.15pm onwards (no longer 7.15pm) exlucding wed.
weekends: evening time (i'm still teaching tuition, so day time quite packed)
cravings: mahjong, ktv, movies, shopping, drinking, chit-chat.

so anyone who is frequenting this place, and is able to fit into the timetable above, please please contact me!!! i'm finally free!!!

movies pending:
1) orphanage (haha, first time hear from tahlaxi that she wants to watch horror show right??? there's always a first for everyone. but then company be warn that its quite... very exciting to watch with me. )
2) narnia. watched the first, now waiting for the sequel. recently very into those children stories. just finished spidewick and waterhorse. hope to complete it with narnia.
3)Step up 2. hope this is better than the first. recently got keen into dancing. so think i'll like to catch this movie.
4)horton. but not really tat keen to spend monney on cartoons leh... though heard that comments not bad.
haha. some are a must watch. some still ok. anyway think i spending too much money on movies le. maybe cause i've suddenly many spare time on hand thats why.... sigh... so pple, please chio me out for activities that i can either earn money or don't spend any money. don't mind if pple wanna treat me. hee.

**hint hint buddy**

2008-03-13T23:23:00.002+08:00

been into blogging recently.

its one of those emo season for me again. is it due to the rain?? i wonder...

anyway just uploading some photos here. not gonna write much.. let me ponder on my own for a while longer more before stepping out of it.

random updates on recent movies

2008-03-10T10:41:00.002+08:00

recently just went to watch 2 movies...

1) L change

generally still ok with the movie. I still prefer Death Note 1 and 2. But Kenichi Matsuyama really did quite a job in depicting L. He's so so so real to the comic. Shihui who went to the show with me and my bro can't help but mimick his actions. haha. The small female lead is good too. I can imagine her in those Jap horror movies though, especially when she has those vengence in her eyes. the little boy is cute too. cute is the word. generally, since its a spin off from the part 1 and 2, there is no direct linkage to the 2 movies, so anyone who has or hasn't seen the shows previously will not be affected, just that one might not understand why he's only left with the 23 days to live out his life.

quite enjoyed the show for the company. the acting and small touching moments quite make up for the story line which reminds me of those usual save the world movie.

2) 10000 B.C

just went to watch it on sat. i call it the action packed comedy. with some really comical moments and creations. firstly, the 2 legged ostrich that bites and chews at dead people, then the tribe that wears bamboo mask on the face, the tribe leader that does not laugh, the buffalo drawing that is supposedly the picture of a sabre tooth tiger, the mammoth that committed suicide.... and finally the ending song that trailed off to an unexpected off tune/tone. oh my, we were laughing throughout. i was seriously worried, is it the movie, or is it just us?

enjoyed the show really for the company, with the chips and pocky passing between the few of us and the chi-na ring tone that sounded now and then.. good. rated 5 for company, 4 for the movie, 3 for the story line, 2 for the acting.

hair pulling fustration! I want out!

2008-03-07T17:13:00.001+08:00

hair pulling fustration! I want out!

thats my nick for the day on msn. why? cause i've been pulling out my hair while i'm sitting in front of the comp and thinking back what has happened.

my collegue who only just started to look for a job, got a job! no 1. but still i'm very very happy for her. hee. now i've got on hand another treat. hee.

i'm still jobless! i've applied for a few more, recently seems like my interest jobs are getting lesser. sigh. how how?? no 2.

my job seems to be getting more depressing as the day drags by... how can it get worse? no. 3

i'm feeling queasy all over. feel like puking. think i'm fallnig sick. but i can't afford to. esp during the weekends!!! no!!! no. 4

sigh.....

hopefully the class tonight can brighten up my day and most importantly my weekend.

salsa class

2008-03-06T17:28:00.001+08:00

its been some time since i talked abt the class.

yesterday i went for my first class salsa. hee. yup. i signed up for another salsa class. think i'm really into it. just tat i've yet to master it. its just too difficult for me le, maybe tats why i've so into it. yesterday class was of a different "class" as that of friday. friday's crowd is mainly youths, youngsters. wednesday class comprises of many experienced, and many uncles and aunties. but there are a couple of youths still. hee. i'm so glad i started off with the friday class instead of the wed.

eventually i managed to dance individually with the instructor. damn. i forgot many actions le. and i ended up saying sorry many many times. sigh. when can i ever master it? but at least i've learnt to relax in the presence of strangers. good training.

but i just realised tat i'm not really tat bad at coordination after all. just flexibility problem, and a little tone deaf. haha.

oh yeah. just a liner on my current status. i'm still working in tuas. no change in status co. yet to tender since i've yet to confirm my CAREER commencement. sigh. see how things go. in case anyone's wondering....

2008-02-18T15:57:00.002+08:00

the event came and went just like tat on saturday.

hectic hectic are the only words i can say about the event.

i only had half an hour for the technical run. oh my. haha. and guess wat, i screwed up. not to mention that i always seem to be under the scrutinize of a fellow "collegue" who asked "whats your experience as a stage manager". i did not answer, pretended to be busy which i really am, and in my mind i was saying, well, this is only my second time, so buzz off. i've all the experience i have with productions and events. but well, i did not really perform well in the first place that led to such a remark. so well..... not taking to heart. but anyway he ended up just sitting around without doing anything, maybe he did but i didn't see.

the event was delayed by nearly an hour. not cause of us. but because the guest was late, caught in a heavy jam. acc to one of the performer "how many jams did he get into". the whole thing was pushed back for very very long, and eventually we have to cut down on our performing time since the elderly and the performers have to leave latest by 2pm. we can't expect them to sit around for too long either. but it was really warming to see the smiles on the elderly's face when they left. a slight regret that the performance have to be cut back when things are finally warmed up.

GOng XI FA CAi

2008-02-13T11:33:00.003+08:00

恭喜发财！！新年快乐，万事如意！祝愿大家心想事成,事事顺心。

我回来了！！6天的行程就这么快地过去了。真的好怀念哦，因为不许顾虑些什么、只需要去思考如何让这个旅程更加完美、如何确保阿妈和老妈的安全。

今年的农历新年过得好匆忙。除夕夜飞离新加坡是个错误的选择。唉，但还是过去了。

初一，我们就从深圳坐船到香港（为何这样的安排是因为他觉得飞机票便宜点。但说实在的，若把船票、的士费算在内，其实也都还是一样的价钱。算了，这次知道了就不会再有下次了。）初一，我们5人就前往大屿山拜佛。我只能说有很多人都和我们有同样的想法，因为那天的香港人有1/4都到了大屿山。我们等着乘缆车上去排队排了将近2小时。无论怎样诚心最重要。那天我才发现到，原来阿妈真的老了。

初二，我们上海洋公园，也是一样，人山人海。这次的人群中3/4 是内地游客。但是并没有我想象中的那么糟啦。认识多了点，是吵了点，小孩子乱推乱挤还是有的点，但至少都会守秩序。那天我坐上了那个恐怖的top gun，在下来的瞬间我几乎停止了呼吸，拼命尖叫、死命的叫，用呐喊来发泄自己的恐惧也增加其他人的害怕。那晚我们住在港湾附近的高级酒店，在客房里观赏了维持将近40分钟的现场烟花表演。等人群散去（需要1小时）我们才敢下楼到星光大道去散散步，我也是在那儿遇见了他和他。

初三，我们一大早就搭地铁到了深圳在乘坐火车来到了广州。下榻的酒店是刚新建好的Westin Guangzhou。非常幸运的是我们的executive客房由于还未准备好，所以就自动被提升至executive suite。从那时开始，我就真的不想再离开酒店了。那天我们去了《北京路步行街》，只逛了2小时就因为uncle ben要赶回酒店持executive dinner （就只是free drinks and snacks)我们也只好不了了之了。有机会我还是会再带老爸老妈老弟再去一次广州，好好地享受一番。

初四，我带着阿妈和老妈三人离开了uncle ben n group 自个儿到巴士站搭车到珠海市去。还蛮吓人的。巴士司机就把车停在十字路口起身就差点儿和其中一个乘客打起来，好才那时我们已经快到终点站了。今天体验到了不一样的中国。平时跟团去旅游是在被保护的情况下去“看看中国”的，这次的体验算是头一遭。我学会了一件事 - 再买票之前，要问清楚。是私家车、高级素质、还是公共车。差别时非常大的。顺便提一下，从广州开往珠海，请求正一定要是“拱运”只有“拱运”去说是可以坐的。

到了珠海，算是完全得靠自己。因为我们都没有来过。下了车，在大马路边，我有15分钟的不知所措，带着两个超重的行李，我们一个少女、一个50来岁的妇女和一个将近75的老阿妈就这样到了珠海。这天我发现，为了购物，女人是什么都做得出来的。我就自个儿穿过大马路去找一间能够寄放行李的酒店，然后再返回带走在马路对面的老妈和阿妈。在柜台处问了路，（我们从始至终都没有那儿的地图），就开始在珠海市逛了起来。整整诳了5小时还嫌不够，可惜听说店要关了，也害怕澳门官卡会很多人，所以就走了。依依不舍地离开了拱北莲花路步行街，领着行李过马路到了拱北口岸，随着人群来到了澳门。

到了澳门又是另一段旅程的开始。我虽然来过澳门，但也是匆匆的一日游而且由于客房短缺的关系我无法要到我之前下榻的酒店，我们就只好来到了我们都还没摸索过的东部的澳门。我们那晚住在文华东方， mandarin oriental, 也由于原本预定的客房已被分配给其他客人，所以他们又自动地提升了我们到executive suite。等级是3级跳，因为之前我只是预定了最便宜的普通客房罢了。太爽了。那晚逛了刚建好的“渔人码头”（那里真的很美，只得去照一照像）就会房休息了，就连到隔壁澳门最大的赌场看看都懒得去了。

初五早上我们就到了妈祖庙。然后再逛了逛老街，到圣保罗塔拍照，买些特产回来交差，就返回酒店收拾行李回家咯！！顺便提一提，由于我们三人的主要目的是及时行乐，开开心心舒舒服服的，所以我们就多付了点，乘坐酒店的包车到飞机场。还顺道放慢车速让我们拍拍照。哈哈。享受享受。

整个6天的行程由它的好与不好。但还是让我们体验了不一样的一周。香港、广州、珠海、澳门还是能一游再游的。我现在有了会员卡-酒店也不再愁了。哈哈

照片已下载，只等我回家整理就能放上线了。敬请留意。

its official

2008-02-04T17:48:00.000+08:00

i'm still employed. so don't ask me again if i've tendered. i know i've mentioned many times before... i'm gonna tender... i'm gonna tender by mid jan... i'm gonna tender by end jan.... now i'm gonna tender after i've found the other job... and i sure hope its fast as i've mentioned previously. i'm going crazy.

wanna watch sweeny tood. its JOHNNY DEPP!!!!! wowo. hee.

anyone wanna watch? just remember to ask me along k. don't mind tagging along with whatever group you're organising. but then after the chinese new year.

after tmr i'm on leave!! yeay!! wed gonna fly off for my cny trip with ah ma and mummy. pretty excited about it. cause we're gonna go free and easy to 4 places. haha. haha. can't wait for it. but then i'm scared things will go wrong. well.. everything is going wrong now. the weather is going crazy, snowing so heavily in Shanghai, its the first time in 5 decades (reported). stampede in GZ has already killed one lady. HK is at 8degree celsius. i'm really not sure what to expect when i reach there already. scary.. ... but excited. only worry is my ah ma. she's already pretty freaked out after hearing that we're gonna take train from HK to GZ. haha. scared stiff. paled. exact words to describe her reaction when i told her.

2008-01-30T15:54:00.001+08:00

I'm really going crazy.

this world is crazy.

I'm so angry. not with anyone else but myself. why can't i stand up for myself? why can't i do so? i should fight for what i want and need. why couldn't i? why??

cause i'm scared once i open my mouth and spurt out what i wanna say i'll lose it. i'll totally lose it. shouldn't i be prepared for it? why am i feeling so unsettled, cheated and disappointed?

2008-01-29T15:39:00.000+08:00

I'm going crazy!!!

who would want to leave a job, that pays above 2k, and you just have to sit around, do some ordering of raw materials, do your own studying, plan your own projects and no targets to meet, talk to customers, pacify suppliers and pdt workers and customers and salespersons, serve the net for own purpose, have your own lab and office, demand the 3rd highest pay in the company, eats lunch alone, bonus cheated off by the company, office files lying on the floor cause company no budget for cupboard, only way up is out, doing this that and nothing else, spend half the day trying to make sure i don't flare up at this old virgin, the other quarter day contemplating whether should i leave, the other quater of the quarter to gossip about the old virgin, the other 3-quart of the time doing some paper work, doing some lab test, serve net again, act a little here there.

its so relaxing that i feel like i'm retiring here. even the oldies are putting in much more effort and i'm getting more pay than them. so why would i wanna leave the company and go out and restart everything again??? wonder why...

but no matter wat, please help this crazy girl out of her plight. provide her with temptations from the outside world, draw her out, give her a challenging job to do, deal with youths, deal with pple who are married, happy, grumpy, naggy, sociable, fierce, demanding, pressurizing, disciplined, lazy. just give her anything to brighten up her day. the comfort zone is too comfortable that her resignation letter has been typed and ready for tendering since july 2007, six months ago and its still not been done. ha!! hows that!

just keep a look out for her k. let her know should there be any requirements anywhere.

2008-01-29T11:08:00.000+08:00

消极 - what does it really mean?

把事情推向绝路就是消极的做法？

那里是绝路？？？好乱啊！！我到底要的是什么？？

为什么人家只要说一套我就一定要跟一套？？

2008-01-22T11:33:00.001+08:00

to date, this is my 335th post that i've blogged since 13th June 2004.
wow, 334 postings in the past. previously they were written in chinese, now its all in english. haha. can't imagine.

but lucky i posted my article on the blog, cause right now, i can't seem to find the hard copy anywhere else. its been 3.5 years since i started this blog. how times fly. i really miss those days when my creative juices are still flowing and i can still write some stupid articles in chinese. or scripts or watever. still miss those times when we're all much much younger. the blog is then used as a venue for us to complain abt our closest and dearest without telling them directly. they usually do get the hint if they're feeling the tiniest guilt at all.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

went for the salsa class last friday. cool. really enjoyed myself that evening. and i swear that i did not step on anyone's feet, but i did miss a couple of the counts. i was even complimented that i'm doing quite well for a beginner. cool!! hee. going for practice at ger ger's place this thursday. can't wait for it. but then, with 2 gals we can hardly practice much of pair work. have to work sth out. a qoute from ger ger's blog. " But i'm really happy that tracy had fun there :) so smiling so brilliantly, brimming with confidence. Dunno when was the last time i saw her like that :) i'll be attracted to her if i'm a guy sia... "

quite a few underlying meanings.
1) i've been pretty tired, occupied, dull, low self esteem, boring for quite some time already.
2) i've not been smiling very often. and even i myself agree that i look much much much better with a smile on my face.
3) i'm enjoying the attention that i'm getting. like wat she's been saying for the whole night "she's changed alot of partners" haha. dancing partners la. since salsa is a SOCIAL dance. hee.

the whole thing really brightened up my day cause its been time since i decided to step out of my comfort zone and try new ventures. the newness and freshness really brightened me up. for further info abt my salsa class pls refer to stellager's blog. hee.

p.s. i'm a BECKS. haha. i'm glad of the attention but not despo for the attention and to get myself attached. recently quite irritated by the actions of my friend. but well, its her personality. can't do much abt it as long as its not causing any harm to anyone.

2008-01-18T10:57:00.000+08:00

终于做了这个决定，别人怎么说我不理。只要你也一样的肯定。。。。

Really looking forward to the new year.

1) i'm starting to take up salsa dancing. today will be my first lesson. thanks to stella i've got a very cheap price for such an interesting class. who knows if i'll really like the whole activity i'll go on to enrol in other classes else where. cool!! really looking forward to it.

2) i'm looking for a job switch. yes, i've been talking about that since july last year and i'm still here. been talking seriously pondering over it over the new year and i've decided to quit in january but i'm still here. so i've decided to stay till end Jan. basically cause no point wasting my feb, since its a short month, and i can still get my full month pay. i'm not gonna waste my monthly salary on this company again. since it has already cheated me of my bonus. damn.

and if i do remain jobless, just remember to chio me out k. don't worry i still have tuitions to last me through my days.

3)i've a couple of travelling plans currently still pending for the new year. hopefully all can come true. one is already in action, gonna fly off in less than 19 days. the other is year end. so i start and end the year happily.

4) new year resolution. GROW UP. i've got to learn to grow. to adapt, and yet still hold the mentality of youth. being happy is the most important. =))

5) maybe i should set myself a new year resolution such as clara's. i should get myself hitched. but well, i'm better than that. i'll still wait for the one to come to me. no point grabbing for anyone that comes along the way. too tiring for me since i've already experienced it when i was younger. but meanwhile, to accomodate to the all so superficial gender in singapore, i better slim down more to do so. why can't they just look past the surface and body??

Vday and Yuan Xiao

2008-01-14T11:09:00.000+08:00

Hey pple,

Looking for the perfect and affordable gift for your loved ones, for your friends, family, partners etc.... Look no further....

www.foryourlovedones.blogspot.com offers a range of flower bouquets including delivery (for a minimum order) during the CNY period, 1st Feb all till the 24th Feb (right after the lunar valentine's day, Yuan Xiao).

Sales are done on a very low profitable margin, with the main objective of spreading love around. So please do take a look if you're looking for flowers, gifts to prepare for the special days. if you've any ideas that needs our help in implementing, just let us know, we'll DO it for you.

Refer to the website for more details. help spread the word around. thanks.
thank you for your support. Besides spreading love around, hope you can help by spreading the word around. Let us know should you have any enquires or orders.

2008-01-03T08:54:00.000+08:00

happy new year!!

just realised that i ended the new with a depressing note left on my blog.
it still is depressing cause on eve itself, my production manager tendered his resignation letter. i'm vexed by the whole question over the holiday but now i'm more or less settled. just don't anyone dare come and ruffle it again!!

new year was ok. this year a slightly different way of spending it. how i wish it could have been otherwise though. nvm.

Happy NEW year everyone. just hope that everyone would have a pleasant 2008, and the luck might just drop off on me :~

2007-12-26T15:49:00.000+08:00

very very tired. emotionally and physically.

not really sure what i want. the more i talk about it, discuss with pple around me, soughting advice from pple, the more confused i get. i know for sure is i want out. but is it really the correct time for me to be out of this job. or i am just being superstitious? would i really get the job within the month as predicted?

i wanted to study, i wanted to change job, i wanted to do sales, and now i wanted to go into general management. whoever has heard me talk about my career goals since the beginning would definitely have come to the conclusion that i'm a small little brat not knowing what to do, and whatever i'm talking about doing are just some ideas instilled into me after i've them.

argh. so fed up. i just need some time to sit down and think about what i want. is it really what i want?? can i really leave the job now that i'm here and that it is looking promising, my future job scope.

just an hour ago, don talked to me, most of the jobs now are vacancies that are either hard to occupy or really bad positions thats why pple cannot tahan longer and decide to leave now. best time is 2 months later. when more pple are moving out of their zones and venturing into new job vacancies. that would then be the time. ... is it really so? i wonder....

why do i so want to be out fo the company? cause i'm really tired of the job. i'm too lax, too left alone, and i don't really like doing lab work. i do for the sake of doing!!!!sigh. who can help me on this??

Se Jie

2007-12-20T14:20:00.000+08:00

Wow, this is record!

attempted to watch the show 3 times with this same group of friends but never got to do so!! last night which we contemplated would be the last night that the show would be shown in the cinema, was sold out 3 hours before the show started!! scary. the movie was on for a couple of months already, and every time i checked for seatings, there are bound to be already seats taken, full house etc. How well can a movie sell, thats one big example of a blockbuster.

since we already decided to catch a movie late at night, since we already chio so many to meet already, though i was still at home at that time when we knew that there are only 4 singular seats for 6 pax of us, we still decided to make our way to marina square to catch National Tresure by Nicholas Cage. we went in as 6 pple, exited as 5, only 4 stayed throughout, 3 caught the whole movie, 2 signalling to each other throughout the show,only 1 able to catch the whole show wholeheartedly. drama for the short 2 hours movie!!

色戒

2007-12-10T12:26:00.000+08:00

i'm so in love with the love.

its a love-hate relationship.

its so mesmorising that i kept thinking abt it. it happens everytime when i fall in love with a certain play or show. its happened twice so far. this is the third time.

its so intense that almost every single scenes are etched into my mind. i can recap many many many scenes. which is very not my style. for me, its mostly abt storyline. taking the storyline and putting impt scenes, or well-to-do scenes to the skeleton. thats it. and i just remmeber the movie just on the few points.

but this is different. this is really different. i'm in love with tony leung. 梁朝伟. i'm in love with 老易

holiday trip

2007-11-29T13:47:00.000+08:00

been craving for a holiday trip...

wonder will i ever have another one with my friends...

many places that i want to go... japan, europe, taiwan, macau (revisit)

or should i just pack up and leave.... very tempting thought

2007-11-26T15:03:00.000+08:00

scared, nervous....

is it luck tat i did not receive the mail on friday, and which could have at least put my mind at ease on sunday to know that i've at least been given an opportunity.

but well, after all the waiting, i've finally called them up and got the confirmation. tmr is the 2nd biggest day. i'm hoping that i can get through to the BIG day!!

the past 2 weekend was chaotic for me. hee. 1 event span over 2 weekends. 2 friday of preparation late into the night at my place. lack of sleep during the rest days and catching up of sleep on working days. haha.

17th nov was the "bridging years" day. i was teaching the elderly how to fold cranes! and i think they do like it. after the actual event, it was another late into the night preparation for the follwoing week at my place. 2 consecutive night of more than 8 pple at my palce till 2am min. but it was fun.

24th nov was the "connecting hearts" day. actual event at the home itself. it was so nice to see the smiles on the elderly's face. they were smiling, and their smiles spread to their eyes, deep down into the souls, and it touched me. clapping along to the songs, playing the games. though the interactions between the groups of elderly was minimum, but at least both parties have enjoyed themselves. till now, i can still remember their smiles and laughter when they're singing along to the songs.

how i wish i did a better job at the deco though. it seems that the party goodie bag wasn't such a nice idea after all. since some of them actually tried to eat the items. how i wish i had the time to sit down and talk to some of them. but i'm scared i can't hold back too.

i'm glad i got myself involved.

wish me luck!

*prayer*

一棵开花的树

2007-11-23T10:02:00.000+08:00

如何让你遇见我
在我最美丽的时刻

为这
我已在佛前求了五百年
求佛让我们结一段尘缘
佛於是把我化做一棵树
长在你必经的路旁

阳光下
慎重地开满了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望

当你走近
请你细听
那颤抖的叶
是我等待的热情

而当你终於无视地走过
在你身後落了一地的
朋友啊
那不是花瓣
那是我凋零的心

~席慕容~

2007-11-21T13:22:00.000+08:00

busy busy..

not with work... though i have to admit that my work is piling up...

been catching up on my sleep and also some jap shows i just bought. the shows just brightened up my day. brings me back to school days....

ok. back to work le.

wish me luck for tmr.

2007-11-16T13:00:00.000+08:00

想你从千里之遥奔到我的身边，
原也只为了这一刻的体会和繾绻。
从云到雾到雨露，最后汇成流泉。
也不过只是为了想让这世界知道，
反复与坚持之后，柔水终成雕刀。

~~席慕容~~

2007-11-16T11:43:00.001+08:00

How bad can things get when someone out of concern said something to another who then shoots the mouth off infront of the cause.

I've learnt the hard way, a couple of times already, to mind my own business at work. this time i really regret whatever i've said. thought i've already been careful throughout my stay here. but just a slip of tongue to someone whom i thought cared, things turn disastrous for the other person i cared.

how big can a mouth get? and he's not remorse at all! argh!

so stop it!! for me and for him! its damn irritating!

2007-11-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

will i ever stop posting??

too many random thoughts and ideas and the need for others to hear my thoughts. i don't think i'll stop, at least not until i mature and ripen.... in my thoughts.... vainity in play...

2007-11-01T13:54:00.000+08:00

总觉得自己越来越没水准，唉，正在退化当中。。。
人们不是应该一直向前看吗？？